you always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all

i want cuddles in bed and midnight bike rides. i want ice cream dates and emergency trips to mcdonalds. i want tea time, you time, we time. i want kisses on my forehead and walks along the lake just holding hands. i want singing out loud together to repetitive songs on the radio in your car. i want movie dates and dinner dates and just because dates. i want endless and mindless talks about everything and anything. i want you and i want us but i can't do this anymore. with you none of this is attainable and i'm getting tired of being the only one trying to hold us together anymore. i can't keep going back and forth because in the end, it's always me getting hurt.