don't know what to do anymore, i've lost the only love worth fighting for

i'd like to think that i'm happy, i'd like to pretend. in fact, i'm doing just that. but it's only pretending, it's not true happiness. and it's starting to get too hard to pretend that i'm ok. it's getting too hard to pretend that i don't still love you, that every time i see you i don't want to just run into your arms. but than again.. it's also getting hard to pretend that the things you do and say don't hurt me. i would like to be happy again, i want to stop pretending. but maybe until i can do that, i have to get over you..